Monday, August 17, 2020

Walking in a world where I can imagine etli-pide with wisdom sayings inside

 



I remember walking home.  This image from Bosna-Hersek neighborhood in Konya in 2014 was from a normal walk home from my campus office.  Getting in extra walking-time was easy in that city.  Here in Atlanta it is workable, but more difficult.  The plateau allowed for a smooth trail, a constant breeze, and space to think.  Health is surely wealth in this space.  When I took this picture I left the wind-blown water bottle and a little debris so I could remember that it was a normal human space, with some people who cared deeply for its health, and those who were careless, and natural entropy, insofar as "natural" can be with the relationship humans have with environment lately.  In Jacob The Baker, Noah Ben Shea wrote "memory is the gentlest of truths", and I have carried that idea with me for decades.  Walking here, both as part of a pair, and later as a widower, I can look back at our old letters and see how the wordless part of us influenced what we did years later.  Aundreta wrote me once about "the divinity in writing" when it is directed toward important people in your life.  Celaluddin Rumi taught in the spirit of "No mirror ever became iron again; / No bread ever became wheat; / No ripened grape ever became sour fruit. / Mature yourself and e secure from a change for the worse. / Become the light."  I want to remember as much  as I can, in order to honor it.  The mind that I carry now flows in a different form than the one I had six years ago.  I want to remember the joy and the noise and the peace and the dust and the wind and the connectivity of the place.  Conversations and silences that added their own spices for the years there are just as valuable as names of streets and shops and tram stops, and the mosque across the highway.  

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Remnants - Emanet and feeling McCoy Tyner's "Survival Blues" personally

  When you visit old places, the exercise becomes "trying to be present" while a part of your mind retrieves memories that may make it difficult to see "the present". Going to the Gedavet in Zafer in Konya is one of those things. I saw so many people who remembered me, and I had difficulty retrieving memories, but in other moments, it became difficult to see the present at all. I believe it was a learning moment for me -- all that I knew is refusing to be static, and so it is an encouragement for me to also be dynamic, in keeping with that theme. I am not being allowed to make my memory palace a museum wherein I can live, but only visit from time to time. It would be unrealistic to hide amid the archives. Instead I believe I am being directed to make new memories.
This place, near Özsüt Cafe, a place with delicious ice cream and warm memories, has transformed since I last visited it. I see new fountains, new shops, old things gone, with old recall making it difficult to see the new things. I wish I weren't the only person who can recall them...but that too is a teaching moment for me as well. A parting gift.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Transformation Day - 18:53 hrs light a candle or lantern 16 September



15 September 2015 – for 16th Sept. at 18:53 pm local SC time (EDT GMT -4)
By Michael J. Farris
love so strong feel like
could
split completely
open…
spill juice
drop seeds
what flowering this is
wanting to-
holding back perfume
afraid…
going up
spreading out
what madness
threatens…
to render me
so open whirling
mad
so lovely
and permanently
uncomfortable?
By ACFarris – from her Tumblr account KaraKelebek731 – (means “Black Butterfly” in Turkish)

This marks the second year following the transition of Aundreta Conner Farris – I am compelled to remind everyone that “living in someone’s heart” is certainly part of life; and as closeness bears heavily on moments of reflection, we should all be thankful for the potential clarity of such moments.
For my own part, much of her life with me was concentrated around the pen, the word, the idea. We “courted” for years just through letters and even made chances to write to each other, to go out to cafés specifically with the intention of designing some special note or finding ‘the right paper’ to give each other something to hold onto, to meditate upon, to grow into, so that we could remember things and direct ourselves in knowing one another better.  As I type this I realize, as I have often considered in this growing time, that I have known her for more than 20 years – I first saw her in 1994 (as I exited Shoney’s in Orangeburg for a family reunion breakfast, walking my grandmother to the door), had my first meeting with her in 1996 (Cindy was there, and she has been witness to so many parts of our adventure) – she missed an Etta James concert and came to buy some music where I was managing shop. The first piece of my writing I gave her was a poem-poster I was selling. I told her that I wanted to know her, but I probably wouldn’t call, but I would be glad to write to her… she did, and thankfully so.

“Images from my Wandering Star”
(Caramel and Fresh Breezes)
In the morning, when she wakes, she pulls on a skirt 
and her skin becomes diamond, and sapphire.
She likes that.

She stretches her arms, 
right arm out, left arm hooked under her chin, and her breath vibrates the room.
I like that.

A wandering star in a dark heaven, 
she holds serenity in her abdomen, 
resting and ready to be dynamic,
in her laughter, in her song, in her music, huuuu;
I sit and wonder at her resonance, and it moves me.
It causes me to move.
 --MJFarris, September 2015

Speaking to everyone is difficult for me sometimes; in the spirit of “The wound is the place where light enters you” (Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi) – of whom we were both so fond – I am trying to be open to what this process can teach me while giving myself time to move through the day in a generative way. So I keep to myself, but please know that you are all in my thoughts, and prayers.  She always said that if everyone that loves her were gathered into one room, people would be hard-pressed to describe all the connections.  Some of you got to see that in person, and she was right. It is my continuing hope that those people can find new ways to affirm that love and lovingness in their lives, in their own spheres and together.  I wish you
Peace and good health – (mjf)

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Mind Going Forward - Making Time to Think

  Reading gives the mind time to digest ideas. I read something that reminded me that instead of being a victim of circumstance, that I am directly responsible for the world I am in right now, due to the decisions I make and the choices I decide I can live with.  Now I need to deal with the ramifications of that idea. As I internalize it, what will it help me to do?